Kimberly - I love you because you don't mind my tears.
I have done a lot of crying the past few days. It is not because I lack faith in knowing that God knows what is perfect for our family. I have been bombarded with messages and encouragement to remind me of this. I guess I am grieving for the time that you are going to be away. My mom always says that it takes three days to process new or bad news. I have been struggling with the time that you are going to be away. I know that another deployment was always possible. We have dodged the bullet many times. It has been 9 1/2 years since your last one. I guess it just shocked me. Nine months is a long time. I keep getting scared when I think about being a single parent for 9 months. I love you so much and depend upon you to help me parent our children. It is tough now and I cannot imagine doing it all by myself with no help from you. I am allowing Satan to make me fearful. I keep going back and forth from faith that this is God's perfect will for us to sheer panic. I love you for the fact that you let me cry knowing that ultimately I will be alright. This is what is best for us right now. God never says oops. But just know that there will still be my tears. I love you and am going to miss you more than I can express here.
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